Road to Gyaru

    So I noticed a lot of people going through hard times right now and just so you all know you are not alone. Whatever the problem is we got to stay strong because if we let ourselves get depressed and hurt then those things/people win.  My problem right now is my relationship sadly, I have been with this guy since 9th grade and I am 21 now. We did break up for 2 years in betwee but other than that we haven't been apart.  I even got a beautiful daughter from him and to this day I still love him to death. The problem is his anger, no I do not get hit or anything like that but I do get called some pretty horrible names and get told some horrible things.  Even though sometimes I dont cry it hurts every time, at time things are said so much I do start believing them. In the end though I know the things being said to me aren't true so after I have the time to calm down I understand this. I think high school is where all of the names and dishonesty started. I was lied to constantly while we were together and almost and maybe even cheated on a few times. That is when my cutting started and it lasted up until a year ago, that was when I was believing everything said about me. I just see so many people going through depression or pain right now and I want everyone to know I am here to talk. I have been through a lot in my past and if I could help some people conquer depression like I did I would be happy. I am still with the guy to this day he really did change tremendously, but we do have hard times and today was one of those times. The names were thrown around and no one but my feelings were hurt.  I could of fell back on my old ways of hurting myself but today I feel more like putting more of my story out in hopes of helping someone.  People see me and think I am one of the happiest people ever but in reality I cover up a lot of emotions. I don't have really anyone to talk to seeing as in high school I was always with this guy and never made any friends. So when days like this happen I feel extremely lonely and vulnerable, but I am trying something new and everytime I need to talk to someone I will blog. Its the easiest way of getting all my emotions out and maybe get some advice on the way. When you feel depressed or lonely I suggest blogging to get it off your mind or finding someone on the internet or somewhere else to talk to. Never harm yourself believe me it might make it feel better at the time but growing up with people asking you where those scars are from (expecially when its your daughter) it is embarrassing and in the end you will regret doing it. We are all beautiful and shouldnt harm our beautiful bodys. There really is people who will help you and things you can do to help as well.  Also never change yourself for anyone if they do not appreciate you or respect what you like then they are not worth it. I hopw this helps someone out someday. Stay Strong everyone!!